I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
