btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
