So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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