for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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