Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize