is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
