All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
