shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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