I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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