So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
