Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
