New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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