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she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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