Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
