She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize