I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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