Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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