that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I supernannyed him into submission
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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