Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize