Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
