DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
