Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
