I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
