My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
