I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
