sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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