Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
They have beer where we have blood.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
