I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
