The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
