I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
pray to the hookup gods
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
