I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
