That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
