definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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