He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
