If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
