i love accidental penises.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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