You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
