also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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