What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
