if we break up, who will get the dealer?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
