No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
