Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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