I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
