Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
