PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
