I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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