Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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