did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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