so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
