Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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