I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
