I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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