I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
