He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
