How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
