I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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