You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
