Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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