he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
