She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
