tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
