Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
