I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize