did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
